Allow enough time between the church and reception

I cannot stress this one enough. Ask ANY photographer, videographer, priest, minister, rabbi or other celebrant how many weddings start on time. The reality is every bride swears things will start on time, but maybe 1 in 50 actually does. 1/2 hour to an hour late is not uncommon. And what suffers in the end is the length of your reception. Your reception has a contractual end time. If you and your guests arrive late, your reception ends when you contract says it will end.

So how does this happen? So very many reasons. Here is a typical day for a NJ wedding.

• Photographer arrives at brides house 1pm.
• Service begins at 2pm.
• Cocktail hour 5pm.
• Reception 6-10pm.

Here is what really happens:

Photographer arrives at 1pm. And the bride still has to get dressed. You see, there have been so many little unanticipated things to do the morning of, and the minutes just kind of added up. Perhaps there was traffic getting to the hair dresser or back, a bridesmaid or two was late and you were all driving there together, phone calls asking for directions, gathering up all you will need to put in the limo, and just answering questions about the final details.

OK. So just running a little late. Just have to get the gown on and we will be ready to start taking all those beautiful pictures! Uh-oh. This is one of those gowns that get laced up the back. Took them just a few minutes at the bridal shop to lace it. No exaggeration ladies, I have seen it take 45 minutes for your friends and family to do. Too tight and you have back cleavage. Too loose and the gown won't stay up. It takes time to get it right.

Ideally at the house the photographer needs to get the bride with any parents or step parents that are there, both alone and in groups. Bride alone, bride and bridesmaids, the bride with each bridesmaid, leaving the house, getting into the limo etc. But one bridesmaid is stuck in traffic. Major accident on the Parkway. She can't go straight to the church. So you will have to wait. Or perhaps the limo got stuck in traffic, parent are late, one person called out sick at the hairdresser so that took some extra time. And getting everything you need and yourselves into the limo took way longer than you thought. Bottom line, all the little delays really add up. And this is why virtually every bride arrives at the church 15 minutes late or more.

Lets say you are one of the one in 50 that actually arrives on time. It is 2pm on the dot as the limo pulls up to the front. Actually, if you wanted your service to begin at 2, you are late. The limo may have a good parking space, but whoever drove from your house with you gets the worst parking spaces. You need to wait for them to park to get started. And it takes time for everyone to get out of the limo. And guests are still arriving. And you want pics of you and your dad by the limo. And everyone needs to be lined up in the back. And the runner pulled. And the parents seated. The 2pm service is now starting at 2:15. Also when the celebrant tells you how long they expect the service to be, they are not counting the processional or recessional time at all.

So the processional starts at 2:15. And it is a short quick one so the service is underway by 2:20. And it is a short one. Just a half hour. Done at 2:50, and ready for the receiving line by 2:55. Arriving on time has you 25 minutes behind schedule at this point. Imagine if you were the 49 out of 50 that arrive late?

Next is the receiving line. There is a detailed post about this previously, but in a nutshell, 120 guests, 30 seconds with each, that would be an hour. But you will talk fast. 15 seconds per guest. And the receiving line is done by 3:25. Time for the toast by the limo and to head inside for pictures. It is now 3:35.

Let's see, first there is the bride and groom and her parents. And his parents. And both sets of parents. And add the grandparents and aunts and uncles to each side. And the brothers and sisters. And the brothers and sisters alone with the bride and groom. And the bridal party. Just the guys. Just the girls. Maid of honor and best man. And, and.....count on at least a dozen formal shots to be taken. And then the bride and groom alone. It takes time to gather who you need in each photo. People run to the bathroom, out to smoke, to their car for something, go outside to talk to someone. So it can take 2-3 minutes or more to gather the people and take the picture. The larger the group in the picture, the longer it takes to set up. 45 minutes is a reasonable amount of time for the family formals. It is now 4:20. And now it is onto the park for pictures. Everyone heads to the limos and get settled, and you are on your way to the park by 4:30.

The park is just 10 minutes away and you are fortunate and hit no traffic. 4:40. By the time you park, unload and reach the spot you want and get started, 4:50. And you also want pictures by the cute bridge. And the flowers. And the lake. And....

Your photographer is really quick and you are ready to head back to the limo in just a half hour. It is 5:20. By 5:30 you are all settled and on your way to the reception. Again you are lucky and there is no traffic. It is 5:40. You gather all your things from the limo and head to the bridal suite. It is 5:50. The DJ walks in and starts lining you all up for introductions. But wait--what about cocktail hour? I just want to relax for a bit! I choose the food so carefully. And I missed it? Nooooooooooo!

Needless to say, time has a way of just going on your wedding day. This scenario had a 3 hour gap between the start of the church and the start of the reception. Imagine if the cocktail hour started at 4! Or if you had been late for the service. Or if the service was longer than a half hour. Or you hit traffic.

I cannot stress enough--ALLOW ENOUGH TIME BETWEEN THE CHURCH AND RECEPTION. Your guests will find something to do with an hour or two of their lives. But missing and hour or two of reception you have planned for your entire life is something you can never get back. And just say everything involved with your reception cost $10,000. The hour missed was worth $2000. Wow.